The Past Few Months...

Monday, 19 June 2017

Living with anxiety and MSA Multiple System Atrophy
Apologies for the lack of content on LLA.  I've gone from posting every other day to being decidedly MIA.  It just felt so vapid and trivial to ramble about beauty with everything going on.  Except on Instagram which you can find here - dogs, dashes to Space NK galore.  I tried to maintain a presence there because as we all know, coffee doesn't taste as good if you don't first photograph it for the 'gram! The last few months have been pretty intense.  As much as I hated not posting regularly, the absence felt necessary.

Weeks of working myself into the ground (literally) which then gave rise to me leaving that job.  Then my Mum who is in her 70s being hospitalised for 6 weeks before finally being diagnosed with MSA.  I'm sorry that I'll never stop banging on about it raising awareness of it.  Multiple System Atrophy - it is stupidly rare, there is no cure, no treatment and it's a truly horrible disease.  As if she hadn't been through enough.  My brave Mother battled cancer years ago then just when we were getting over that, in quick succession lost her Mother and we lost my Dad to cancer.  I don't wish ill health or misfortune on anyone but seriously universe my family doesn't need to have a monopoly on these things!!!  A whirlwind of adapting rooms, occupational, speech and physical therapists, carers, installing chair lifts and purchasing walking sticks, walkers and a wheelchair ensued.  

Also, the doctor just recently confirmed that I was suffering with anxiety.  Not to be confused with the natural feelings of anxiousness but hideous, accute anxiety.  Not exactly a shock for me or my friends/family but for years I've had IBS but as it turns out this was merely a physical manifestation of the wider problem.  Who knew?  It isn't my gut that needed treating!  Not me evidently...

And just for good measure the dog was recently diagnosed with diabetes!  So it's been a bit of a circus of trying to get her to eat so I can wait 15/20 minutes before I have to practically chase her around to give her an insulin injection twice daily...  Weekly vet visits and much to the amusement of my neighbours, I often have to urge her to "go to the toilet" in a fervent whisper so I can then try to get a urine sample for said vet visit!  All of this can only do wonders for my social life!  Never mind dating life.  Form an orderly queue boys...

While I feel like the last few months definitely took their toll on me, I've lots to be grateful and give thanks for and sure we don't grow when life is plain sailing.  So I'm back, thanks for sticking with me! Posts might be a little sporadic but I missed writing and it's has been cathartic to let the words flow.  I hope this post somewhat explains my absence and offers comfort, so you know you're not alone when life isn't always Insta' worthy full of perfect captured moments - pink skies, avocado toast et. al.

P.s. I'm know that the accompanying picture is completely irrelevant and what? ;)

3 comments :

  1. Sounds like you have an awful lot on your plate. Thinking of you & hope things get easier xx

    Beautylymin

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  2. I'm so sorry to hear about the past few months for you love! My Grandpa had MSA so I definitely know how tough the disease :(

    Sarah | More Than Adored

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  3. Aw Michelle thank you so such an honest and beautifully written post. Lots of love to you and your family xxx

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